I'm keeping one sin on standby already. If Trixie doesn't show up in this episode, I'm doubling it. *Ding!*
Chris: Meanwhile, our favorite princess got some...weird disturbances in her past.
Celestia: They don't need to know that yet, Chris!
*Ding!*
Chris: Also, could there be a romance rekindled for Gwen and Trent? Who knows; who cares?
*stares at title of episode* I think someone does care. *Ding!*
Chris: Anyway, things get more intense when a pony was discovered...'parafried'?
(The clip of Grimmore is shown, making Chris scream again)
Chris: NOW CUT THAT OUT!
It's not even Grimmore that's parafrying everypony. *Ding!* Also, I thought his name was Grimmoire all this time. I think JusSonic's inconsistencies are affecting me already. *Ding!*
Chris: Anyway, the Earth Ponies and the Alicorns are sent to the eliminations where we say 'buh-bye' to Owen and Brady.
The clip of Grimmore is shown once more before Chris in annoyance unplugs the TV. The Royal Sisters giggle as the host speaks to the camera.
Someone's having a little too much fun in the editing booth. *Ding!*
"32 players still remain in this intense game. One thing's for sure, things are about to get romantic."
*shuffles notes around frantically* Wait, I'm sure the Valentine's Day episode is only on season 2. I'm starting to lose sense from these titles. *Ding!*
"And tell the loser who was editing that I will see him at the Suck-O-Gone!"
We see Discord in his room, chuckling evilly at the scene in his room, eating popcorn while asking the camera, "Oh, ain't I stinker?"
We interrupt Total Drama Equestria to bring you Looney Tunes. *Ding!* Also, Discord apparently didn't get the memo that Chef already did this joke in Total Drama All-Stars. *Ding!*
We see an intro like in every seasons of Total Drama as well as 'My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic'.
Theme. *Ding!*
Inside the library, Twilight has gathered her friends for a secret meeting. She spoke, "I think the princess is hiding something."
"What makes yew say 'dat, sugar cube?" Applejack asks Twilight puzzled.
"Well, she seems to know what happened to Lyra than she's letting on. The unicorn is alive, thank Equestria, but the culprit is yet to be revealed."
"How odd that this happened around the same time those new ponies show up." Rainbow said in suspicion at the Total Drama ponies.
Yeah, ain't it a coincidence that a unicorn who wants to kill all humans just happens to show up at the same time as twenty humans from a reality show. *Ding!*
Duncan: (growls) Ugh. That Scott really pisses me off! I betcha he's asking for a deathwish...but since I can't kill anyone on this bucking show, I gotta spare him...for now.
I know you're a "bad boy", Duncan, but watch your language. At least you're doing better than Sierra did last episode. *Ding!*
Scott: (holding the McClean statue) Yep. Thanks to this baby, I am safe to piss anyone off until it's used up. This captain is making his move to get rid of any mutineers.
I wanna see how long you last when you don't have that thing. *Ding!*
Sierra reads a magazine while having her mane done, giving a glare at Sadie every few seconds or so, much to the fat mare's concern.
"Katie, I don't like her look. It's creepy." Sadie said to Katie in concern.
"I know. It's like she wants ya dead or something." Katie said to Sadie with a sigh.
Sadie: (worried) I'm seriously thinking that Sierra hates me hanging with Cody. That girl is going to lose it and we may have to suffer for it.
Sierra: (glares) Sadie...you're dead.
Oh boy, this will not end well. *Ding!*
Heather: It's nice sharing some of my secrets with Gwen and Leshawna, especially my boyfriend. (Frowns) But I ain't saying who it is. Last thing I want is Chris using his info to screw me up.
Good thinking, Heather. Knowing Chris, he'd more likely immediately go to Tumblr and spill the beans if he found out. Tumblr is a great source of drama, after all. *Ding!*
"Attention citizens of Ponyville, there will be a special event coming up that will earn all your attention. Starting in a couple hours from now," Chris's voice was heard over the megaphones. "You'll be given a chance to vote out on a small performance show of how well some contenders do as part of their assign task assignments. So, to all the people that come from Candrygonia, head for the Apple Family farm in about a half hour. See you then." The voice issued before it was turn off.
The Mayor of Ponyville's voice was then heard as she yelled, "AGAIN! Who is doing this!?"
I think Mayor Mare needs to beef her security. Then again, nothing ever happens in Ponyville anyway. Apart from the weekly monster attack, of course. *Ding!*
"Okay, Chris, what's up?" Celestia spoke when she and Luna came in. Celestia looked like she had another nightmare, but she was recovering slowly from it.
"Before we do our little challenge, I want to do something that's... pretty important." Chris smiled.
"What's that, pray tell?" Luna asked.
"Just a little song & dance number I like to call: "Square off" that will really play some interesting results." Chris innocently responded in having a challenge to perform for their players.
"What sorta results, McClean?" Luna raised an eyebrow in suspicion
Since Chris is the one who is suggesting this, I think I can guess what sort of results he is looking for. *Ding!*
Back with the others, most of them were doing some main activities as Izzy and Pinkie were sitting near the sidewalk, drawing on a few things, as Pinkie was humming.
(To the tune of Pavement Artist from "Mary Poppins")
Ah yes, we need a song for this episode. *Ding!*
"Well... I wanted to give you a little something... I thought since it fit your friendship with Pinkie and all... I figured this would be perfect for you." Lindsay said as she pulled out a small pink like necklace with shoddy looking birthdays.
Izzy looked in shock as she smiled, "Aw, for me? You shouldn't have, really."
"Hey, I wanted to." Lindsay smiled. "It was the least I can do."
Izzy laughed. "Well, this is really great!"
Izzy: (wearing the balloon necklace around her neck and looking over the script of 'Total Drama Equestria') I wonder what this all means...
It means you're Pinkie Pie, that's what it all means. *Ding!*
"You know, I'm surprised we haven't found the statue for our team yet." Sadie said.
"What makes you bring that up?" Katie asked.
"Well..." Sadie said. "I don't know if it's just me, but by now, I think everyone has their statues. We haven't even looked for the thing, and it's nearly unfoundable."
"I agree." Katie sighed. "Maybe it's hiding in a very obvious place where we didn't think of looking..."
Okay, first of all, unfoundable is not a word. The word you want is unfindable. *Ding!* Second, have you tried looking in... oh I dunno...
Noah: Okay, I was on my way to confess to Katie. She wasn't home, so I decided to get a quick drink... when what do I find in the kitchen cupboards, but this! (shows off McClean Invincibility Statue)
...the kitchen? Seriously, it was, like, under your noses the whole time. *Ding!*
A little later, much of the Total Drama crew arrived at the inside part of the big barn. Twilight and her group would come in later because Discord told Applejack he was helping with a project and needed to speak to the crew of Candrygonia alone to help set things to be ready. Right now, the only ones inside the barn were Chris McColt (the robot stallion Chris pilots from a hidden distance) and Discord himself.
In case you forgot who Chris McColt was already. *Ding!*
"And just to help those of you that don't know how to dance, I asked a request of someone famous, to provide music." Chris points up to something that would help them out here.
Suddenly, something flew in from above that phase through, as it took the form of a brown spirit unicorn stallion wearing a cowboy getup. Course seeing a spirit gave many of the gang some different thoughts.
"AHhhhh....g-g-g-g-GHOOOOST," Cody squealed in freaking out in seeing a ghost.
"Stand back Cody! I got this!" Sierra picked up a wooden paddle to hold it in defense, hoping it would impress Cody.
"Woah-woah, calm down! Honestly, and you say I'm chaotic. Don't you know what this is?" Discord snapped his fingers to turn the paddle into a flower. "This, is a Musical Spirit Pony, very rare creatures, and these types are those that have a love for music, so much they can sing any of them."
What, was Octavia not available? *Ding!*
"Okay now, every pony is set, and the music will begin." Discord responded to where many viewing magic cloud windows shows the Total Drama Cast in cowboy getups in the barn house, like they are going to put on a dance show. "A Musical Spirit Pony in accordance to a splendid imitation performance of, wait for it....'Riders of The Sky'. Comin' right up," Discord raised his arms to announce the name of the band a fellow Musical Spirit Pony would imitate before going off from it.
I'm not familiar with this song. What is it a parody of? *Ding!*
The Total Drama cast prepared themselves, as this was it; they have to put on a good show or rest losing a big reward, so this was no time for messing up. Then from the jukebox nearby that a familiar spirit pony dives into to magically enchant, came some toy imitating proofs of four musicians of the band, 'Riders in The Sky', as they stated to play the music for this Square Dancing Contest.
Oh wait, I know this one. Classic country. So... where's Applejack? *Ding!*
Now during the moment the stallions were too busy dancing while the mares clapped to the beat, Discord signal the latters and they were taking the moment to discreetly walk near the jukebox.
Booooring! Do something already, Discord, or I'm gonna fall asleep. *Ding!*
During this moment, Discord took a large hat and a violin off the jukebox. And by the moment the song came to that last lyric response, Discord used his right foot to pull off the jukebox's plug from the wall to start playing the same music with the instrument in hand while sounding like a country cow folk. Now it was his turn to play apart in the challenge while the girls are sitting back to watch how the boys fair...seriously.
"Square dance music interruption" cliché.
...I really don't know what it's called, but I know it's a cliché. *Ding!*
Suddenly, as their eyes were open, the cast males were suddenly trying to 'yank' the other's mane of their heads. Josh with Scott, Ezekiel with Sam, Tyler with B, Duncan with Harold, Cody with Noah, DJ with Justin, Lightning with Trent, Mike with Brick, boy did that look painful for them to pull off...literally.
Ouch. That's got to hurt. *Ding!*
Then Josh, Duncan, Justin, Tyler, Mike, Trent, and Noah yelped when Scott, Harold, Cody, Ezekiel, Sam, DJ, B & Brick poked their faces with the fence post; that gotta hurt.
Remember, kids, don't try this at home! *Ding!*
Then Discord opened up a barn shed place for the stallion cast to walk right inside now, but there was a sign that read 'Hay Baler' on it. And that made Applejack yelp in what was gonna happen next.
I'm surprised the show didn't come up with this yet. I mean, it's a classic cartoon gag.
Y'know what, sin deduction, for beating the creators to the punch. *!gniD*
There was a brief instrument pause being heard, as Josh with Scott, Ezekiel with Sam, Tyler with B, Duncan with Harold, Cody with Noah, DJ with Justin, Lightning with Trent, Mike with Brick walked to look at the draconequus fiddler without realizing...they walked over the cliff's edge. For some seconds, these guys were walking in mid-air in defining the laws of gravity. Then when the males looked in front, below, then to each other, then below with concerning faces before....
Yep, gravity took over and then all of them stallions dropped so fast, there was a loud smacking noise on their impact to the ground. Course those that had wings or horns were so focus on performing the scene stuff perfectly, they didn't wanna risk using them or risk losing the challenge; course NOW they'll wonder if it was worth it.
"Forgot I could fly" cliché. *Ding!*
"Well judging by the sounds of those voices, sounds like everyone's a winner, even me cause I have recorded all that action to be seen all around." Chris McColt pops in to issue this motion of his voice in seeing that from the happy sounds of it, everyone enjoyed the action despite it being painful to watch, but funny none the less.
Chris has some serious blackmail. I would keep it if I were you. *Ding!*
"I take it you all enjoyed the act you done." Chris responded off in speaking to the cast males here that are trying to slowly get better.
"More like aching over it!" Sam moans to complain.
"Yeah, we nearly BROKE our bones over this challenge!" Noah sarcastically remarks the issue while yelling it off with an annoyed attitude.
Don't worry, you guys. The first rule of cartoons is: you can get hurt all you want, but you'll get right back up on the next act as if nothing happened. *Ding!*
"Lightning agrees! We get beat, and the girls only dance pretty for the crowds? What's the deal?" Lightning protested.
"This! I recorded your actions." Chris smirked as he showed off his Ipad, showing off a video of them being tortured. "I haven't put it up on the major sites yet, to avoid spoilers, but imagine, going from a million to a trillion hits!"
Chris: When we get done with this season, and once this episode airs, I'm putting this up on my YouTube account in the real world! (Smiles) Chris, you are one sly dog!
Like I said, blackmail. I can see the title of the video now: "YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED: SQUARE DANCE ENDS WITH DEATH?" Clickbait leads to views, after all. *Ding!*
"So I'll let you relax for a while, there's some medicine over there, it'll cure you in ten seconds. We'll explain the second part of the challenge then. Enjoy...
I... didn't mean that literally. *Ding!* Also, missing end quote. *Ding!*
The sixteen boys looked up to Chris as Cody asked, "All right, what's up?"
"Oh... not a whole lot..." Chris smirked. "So, tell me, what do you think of the sixteen girls? Any special sweethearts that you boys had in mind...?"
Brick frowned. "Chris, you KNOW most of us don't have girlfriends... except for Sam, Mike, Tyler and Harold!"
"Well, I'm glad you asked me what the challenge involving the girls are!" Chris smiled.
"I didn't say-" Brick started.
"Your challenge is to go on an assigned date with one of those girls!" Chris smiled.
All the boys' eyes widen in shock.
Cody: Um... WHAT? Chris is playing Cupid and setting us up on dates?
Chris, Princess Cadance called. She wants her shtick back. *Ding!*
"Chris... there's a flaw in this..." Josh frowned.
"Yes?" Chris said.
"I AM ABOUT HALF OF THE GIRLS' AGE!" Josh frowned. "Won't it be awkward if I just ASKED a teenage girl out on a date? You're putting me in pedophilia territory here!"
Don't worry, Josh. Chris is already a pedo. *Ding!*
Noah looked over his paper, and was secretly cheering on the inside.
Let me guess, it's Katie. *Ding!*
Lightning blinked as he looked at his paper. "Wait, her? She's more obsessed with her LOOKS!"
And aren't you? *Ding!*
Cody just looked at his paper in confusion. "Wait... what?"
So is it Sadie or Sierra? For your sake, Cody, it better be Sierra. *Ding!*
DJ looked over his paper... and his eyes widened in worry, "Heather?"
"What's wrong with her?" Trent asked... then paused. "Oh yeah, she has a boyfriend back home."
"I'm dead unless something happens..." DJ shakes his head nervously.
This will not end well. *Ding!*
"Now, you don't have to say it's a date, but you have to stick with your girls for most of the day. Meanwhile me and Discord will be trying out some... tough love, just to see how much it can hurt!" Chris said. "Below the list of your loved ones are a list of things you have to do... you must do at LEAST five of them with your lady friend... and the first couple to be successful in their rights... will win a chance to vote off one of the OTHER couplings."
"Wait, so it doesn't matter what team they're on?" Mike asked, "Even if they're from the same team? Does Celestia agree with this?"
"Well, as much as I don't want to break the usual tradition we have, I figured we let the contestants have a say on who goes, but just this once." Celestia's voice was heard from the Chris robot.
We interrupt Total Drama Equestria to bring you Battle for Dream Island. Seriously, JusSonic is just making up the rules at this point. *Ding!*
Mike/Harold/Tyler/Sam: (holding up their notes, Mike having 'Zoey', Harold having 'Leshawna', Tyler having 'Lindsay' and Sam having 'Dakota') this is going to be fun!
I'd figure Chris wouldn't throw these guys a bone. I mean, it's Chris. *Ding!*
Noah: (smiles as he looks at his photo of Katie) All right, I know what I have to do!
Called it. *Ding!*
Cody: (still in confusion) Really, Sadie? Why would Chris assign me to SADIE?
This will not end well. *Ding!*
Scott: Okay, out of ALL these girls... (Pulls out list saying 'Sierra') I didn't expect HER to appear!
This will really not end well. *Ding!*
Lightning: Okay (deep breaths) It's just Anne Maria. She may be obsessed with looks... (Smirks) But who can resist a bod like this! (Poses)
*cough*Hypocrite!*cough* *Ding!*
DJ: If Heather's boyfriend happens to watch this part... (Cowers in the corner) Please don't kill me... I have no intention of going out with your girlfriend; it's just for a challenge...
Don't worry DJ. If Heather's boyfriend is who I think it is, then the two of them are faking it just for him to look tough. *Ding!*
Moments later, Gwen and Courtney are hanging out with Twilight, Ben and Fluttershy.
"So Ben, what was it like, dating a princess?" Courtney asked Ben curiously.
"Oh, I don't consider Twilight a princess...well, call her one anyway." Ben remarks with a light chuckle.
Actually Ben, being an alicorn in Equestria automatically makes you a princess, no matter what you think. *Ding!*
"These gentle-colts come a-calling." Rarity spoke in a Southern like accent.
"Wow, you did a better Southern accent than Applejack does." Lindsay said, impressed with what Rarity just did.
You'd be surprised, Lindsay. *cough*Simple Ways*cough* *Ding!*
"Wow, you did a better Southern accent than Applejack does." Lindsay said, impressed with what Rarity just did.
"Thank you, Darling; I hope not to make it a permanent thing." Rarity giggles a bit.
Hypocritical humour at its finest. *Ding!*
Sam: Dakota is one nice gal who deserved to be her normal self again. Maybe if we're nice, the princesses could make it happen.
Chris: (frowns) Yeah, well, maybe someday pigs could fly.
Have you forgotten who your co-host is already, Chris? I'm expecting Discord to pop up a flying pig before the end of the season. *Ding!*
Meanwhile, with Heather, she was smiling a little bit, sitting down at the library as she was petting her stuffed cat. Sighing, she was about to get comfortable... when she heard a knock on the door.
Heather sighed as she put her stuffed cat back in her bag, "Sorry, Regina. Looks like we won't have a moment's peace..."
You're rather calm, after you nearly blew up your cat. *Ding!*
Meanwhile, Sierra was taking a deep breath as she was muttering to herself, "Cody is mine, Cody is mine, Cody is not the fat girl's, Cody is mine! It's not like he just asked her out..."
"...sure, Cody, I'd love to!"
Sierra's heart nearly stopped when she overheard those five words. Sierra turned and gave a glare from a nearby bush as Sadie and Cody were talking.
"Sadie, I have something to ask you..." Cody said.
"Sure, Cody; what is it?" Sadie asked.
"Well, do you think we should keep an eye on Noah and Katie...see how they go? Set everything up... get them... in the mood." Cody gave a small smile.
Sadie, gave a small smile as she said, "Why, sure, Cody, I'd love to!"
"Caught the wrong end of the conversation" cliché. *Ding!*
"Izzy?"
Izzy and Pinkie stopped as they looked up to see Brick, who was looking a little nervous. Izzy smiled as she said, "It's Back-Bone Brick! Hi Brick! What's up?"
Brick sighed. "Okay, this is normally not easy for me to do, BUT... I was wondering, if I could hang out with you for a while. Just to observe you..."
"No, no trouble at all!" Izzy said, "Me and Pinkie are just drawing a few things on the sidewalk."
"Oh... well, that seems... interesting." Brick said as he sat down with the others.
Izzy: Okay, here's where things are about to go crazy...
Okay, you're the one who's saying that, I do not like where this is going. *Ding!*
"Oh, well, me and Noah were just talking about where he'd like to go for the date he has with Katie!" Izzy smiled as Brick stood up.
"Really," Dawn asked. "Tell us more about that..."
"Well..." Izzy smiled. "You could have things like a romantic dinner, rowing in the park, visiting the zoo... but whenever a date is prepared by me or Pinkie, before you can say 'Blick-snap', everything becomes magical."
"Uh, how so," Noah raised an eyebrow as Lindsay, Katie and Sadie were looking interested.
"Well, it's probably none of my business, but..." Pinkie smiled. "A jolly day in the days of another dimension would sound really good!"
"Another dimension," Noah frowned. "You're making this up."
"No, no, me and Pinkie can actually do this!" Izzy smiled as the girls moved around to see what Izzy and Pinkie were talking about. "You see these drawings? Each represents a different dimension... anything is possible."
Cody just raised an eyebrow in confusion as Bridgette and Ezekiel were coming over; both overheard the ramblings of Pinkie and Izzy and decided to walk over to see what was up.
"Like this one, for instance!" Pinkie smiled, "Putting on the Thames. In there, you'd be having the best boat rides of your life!"
Izzy then did an imitation of a rower as she used her chalk as an oar.
"Or a circus," Pinkie smiled as she pointed to a chalk drawing of a circus. "The best lions, tigers and bears you'd ever see, plus the amazing tightrope acts of tomorrow!"Izzy then did an imitation of a tightrope act as she hummed a circus theme. As soon as she was done, Noah, rolling his eyes, slowly clapped.
"What about that one, right there, eh?" Ezekiel asked, pointing towards a small field.
"This is my favorite!" Pinkie smiled. "A nice quiet countryside... good for spending dates... over near the distance, you'll see a NICE country fair, down the road, over the hill."
"What road?" Sadie asked.
Izzy looked over and blinked. "Isn't there a road? Hang on..."
Izzy then did a quick chalk drawing of a road as she nodded. "There; a nice road and good for adventure."
"Come on, you can't really believe that old myth 'Pictures can take you anywhere!'." Bridgette said in shock.
"It's Ponyville. Anything is possible." Pinkie smiled. "Watch this!"
Pinkie then danced, as she muttered, "Blue skidoo, we can too!"
All of a sudden, Pinkie shrunk down, jumped into the painting, and all of a sudden, to everybody's surprise, they saw that Pinkie had been magically drawn in that painting.
Okay, stop right there, stop, this is bull! I believe that a magical mirror can teleport you to an alternate universe where everypony you know walks on two legs, I really do, but you don't expect me to believe you can draw some shit on the ground and get whisked away to another dimension! That goes against all previously existant magic! And you two are an Earth Pony and a Pegasus, you can't do that kind of magic! Stop making shit up! *Ding!* Also, we interrupt Total Drama Equestria to bring you Blue's Clues. *Ding!*
Izzy: (takes the extra camera that's usually there off the confessional and, pulling out a shrink ray, shrinks it down as she puts it under her wing) Better take this. We don't want to miss any of the action...
And where'd you even get that shrink ray? C'mon you two, stop pulling things out of your asses! *Ding!*
"Come on, can we go there, please?" Katie said, giving her eyes a begging notion.
Noah blinked. "I suppose we could..."
Noah smiled. "Of course we can!"
Cody, Sadie, Tyler, Lindsay, B, Dawn, Bridgette and Ezekiel smiled. Now they were instantly curious as to what was in there.
"Very well," Izzy said as Brick was still staring in shock. "Brick, shall you do the honors?"
"Uh... you go ahead." Brick said.
"Very well; Link hooves together." Izzy said as the eleven TD contestants linked hooves. "And repeat after me."
Izzy then started to say the lines as everyone repeated, "1, 2, we can too!"
The eleven contestants then jumped... right on the painting, not shrinking.
See?! I told you you were making shit up! *Ding!*
Brick just rolled his eyes as he linked his hoof to Izzy. "Izzy, I saw what Pinkie recited. Now do it right!"
"I know, I know!" Izzy laughed as everyone said, "Blue skidoo, we can too!"
And with that, all twelve contestants jumped right into the painting...
Oh, come on! *Ding!*
"I hope we have cameras in alternate worlds." Celestia said.
"Fortunately, I prepared for that..." Discord said as he summoned a special television.
C'mon already, not you too, Discord?! I mean, I expect that from you, but still! I am two seconds away from dropping this whole thing and calling it a day. *Ding!*
B: (stares in shock) Okay, I may as well cross 'Take your girl to another dimension' off this list. Because, what do you know?
You mean Chris knew about this too?! Arrrrrgh!