Warning: Foul language this season. Heavy sexual references inbound as well. Viewer discretion is advised.
"This crossover of My Little Pony and Total Drama contains scenes of extreme stunts performed by animated teens or ponies. Do not try any of what you see here at home. Seriously, you could get messed up."
Ah shit, here we go again. *Ding!* Also, I'm gonna drop off one sin for the title of this story, simply because Total Drama has never had a numbered sequel. The closest it's gotten was Revenge of the Island, but that was like season 3 or 4. *Ding!* Drop off another sin for the title of this episode. Looks like JusSonic continues to make up words on the fly. *Ding!* One more sin because this isn't actually a two-parter, despite the title assuming us it is. *Ding!* Jesus, I barely even started, and already four sins. This is gonna be a great season. </sarcasm>
Inside the house of Chris McClean, Chris was sighing as he was looking up at the ceiling, obviously bored. Blaineley came in as she looked concerned for him. "Worried?"
Looks like these two actually did get together after all. I'm telling ya, there's some chemistry between them, opposites attract and all that. *Ding!*
"So, are we set for..."
"Another season? Yes. We still got some plans to set out but otherwise, it will be awesome!"
This is after Pahkitew Island, right? *Ding!*
In the middle of the night, we see Chris sleeping as a mysterious figure appeared, laughing evilly.
"No one can help you now... Since you're very cruel in these shows, this will teach you a lesson about Friendship."
In all my years of playing Ace Attorney, I know that this mysterious figure will only be revealed at the end of the season. *Ding!* Also, ponification. *Ding!*
All the while, over near a small mansion set in Austrailia, a happy Bridgette was seen driving her new car as she was getting groceries. Sure, she didn't get the money prize (as nobody knew what happened to it... Bridgette theorized that maybe it was burnt when Blaineley and Tuerto had their battle), but at least she got a car, and thanks to asking one of the previous for more money... (again, she wasn't sure if it was Duncan or Beth), but either way, she seemed pretty comfortable as she now had her mansion, so it looked like she had the prize money she had...
This is reminding me of something... not sure what it is. *Ding!*
"It's really great we're having this party... though I wonder... why didn't we bring that new Pahkitew Island cast with us?"
"Well, one of them said that they wanted to get home first." Bridgette explained.
It's probably the zombie enthusiast guy. *Ding!*
"Say, where's Izzy?" Bridgette asked... when all of a sudden, a crash was heard as a scream of 'Yahoo' was heard.
The previous scene was brought to you by Verizon the Yahoo! corporation. *Ding!*
Nearby the couch, Noah, Cody, Sam, Ezekiel, Cameron and Owen were each playing 'Super Smash Bros for Wii U' as Dakota, Anne Maria, Lightning and Geoff were cheering them on.
Oh. We're doing that, are we? Bridgette better have a Nintendo Switch. *Ding!*
"She's a bit disappointed that her boyfriend couldn't make it to the party." Beth explained. "She's just too worried because her boyfriend has a job interview."
Gee, I wonder which job the guy's applying for. </sarcasm> *Ding!*
Nearby, B was keeping track as Brick and Jo were on a treadmill, Brick nodded towards B as he said, "What's my time?"
"3 minutes, two seconds." B said.
"YES! I got three minutes, four seconds!" Jo smirked as she turned to Brick. "In your face!"
"Two seconds faster than you" cliché. *Ding!*
"You know, despite our early exit, I think we had the most fun in Equestria." Zoey smiled.
"Yeah... if only we can go back there again..." Mike sighed.
Be careful what you wish for. *Ding!*
Nearby Bridgette's door, she heard knocking as she answered out of curiosity, which she regretted immediately.
"Hi, Bridgette!" Josh smiled.
"Josh, I told you, you're not invited to the party!" Bridgette frowned as she slammed the door in his face. "The nerve!"
This whole scene seems to be taken from somewhere... not sure where, though... *Ding!*
The next morning, at Chris' place, Chris was yawning as he was getting up.
"Ah... man, what a peaceful night!" Chris sighed. "I haven't slept like that since the week of the flood!"
Flood? What flood? Was that something from Total Drama All-Stars? *Ding!*
Chris then jumped off his bed and landed on all four of his hooves. Chris started to clop around as he muttered, "Huh... my footsteps seem a little heavy this morning..."
Chris then got over to the bathroom as he was noticed that his sink was a little higher. "Funny... the sink is taller than usual today."
"Not realizing you've been transformed" cliché. *Ding!*
"Chris, is something wrong?" He heard Blaineley outside.
Chris yelped. He knew Blaineley had a weak spot for ponies, but he didn't know how he transformed into one! He groaned to himself. He had to call Celestia and Luna as quickly as possible. "Uh, everything's fine, sweetheart! I'll be done in about a second!"
Chris had to run out of the bathroom and back into his room. Blaineley then came out as she blinked, noticing the bathroom door was empty. Blaineley then said, "That was a quick second..."
Pony bodies come with super speed apparently. Rainbow Dash must be jealous. *Ding!*
Celestia touched the watch receiver with her nose as Chris' face came onscreen. "Chris, we were about to- holy shit, are you a pony?"
Well from Celestia's reaction, I guess we can rule her out of being responsible for this. *Ding!*
"That's what I want to know!" Chris frowned. "Look, if it's about what I did to Sky, Dave, Jasmine and Shawn in the final episode of Pahkitew Island..."
Chris, man, I haven't watched the final episode of Pahkitew Island yet, watch the spoilers! *Ding!*
Chris stared in shock at the three as he said, "So, let me see if I got this straight. You guys had nothing to do with my transformation?"
"No." Celestia said.
"Not me this time" cliché. *Ding!*
"Look, are you guys going to keep talking, or are you going to help me out of this mess?" Chris asked.
"I'm going to keep yapping, because in my professional opinion, the change is an improvement." Luna smiled.
Snarky Luna is best Luna. *!gniD*
"Oh God, I did not need to see his erect pony dick!" Celestia said in disgust.
"Are those his balls? Oh my God, they're big!" Luna said in shock, peeking a bit.
"Blaineley, whatever you're doing to him, please do it in the bedroom, or better yet, let us transform you into a pony so you can just do your mating rituals!" Discord groaned.
Ooookkkkaaayyyy... did not want the picture of Blaineley having sex with a pony... this is beastiality at its finest folks. *Ding!*
The girls nodded as they heard music. Noah groaned as he said, "Izzy, this early in the morning?"
"I can't help it! I feel ready to sing!" Izzy smiled as a song was starting up.
Are we still doing the "one song per episode" thing? *Ding!*
"What the, where are we?" Cameron panicked as Bridgette looked out.
"Oh, we're just in the Everfree Forest." Bridgette said.
"Oh..." Everyone sighed in relief... then did a sudden double take. "THE EVERFREE FOREST?"
"Double take" cliché. *Ding!*
"I don't know, but he's aiming right for us!" Katie said as the brown pony, wearing a parachute hopped right out... and crashed right into the window, slamming into Bridgette.
"OUCH!" Bridgette groaned as she got up. "I think you injured my ankle!"
"Sorry about that..." The brown pony said.
The parachute did not open after Chris crashed onto Bridgette. *Ding!*
"Greetings, my fellow Total Drama contestants. It's been about a year since we saw each other..." Celestia smiled.
"Yeah, your timeline is pretty inconsistent with ours." Gwen sighed.
There are three timelines in play here: the Total Drama timeline, the Friendship is Magic timeline, and the United Pony of Goodness Universe timeline. This story is inconsistent with all three of these timelines.
...well, except maybe the Total Drama timeline. I'm pretty sure this is between Pahkitew Island and the Ridonculous Race. *Ding!*
"Indeed." Chris smiled. "Folks, I'm happy to announce that we are going to be doing 'Total Drama Equestria 2'!"
Roll credits. *Ding!*
"Yo, homies! What up!" The human smiled.
"Bucky? What are you doing here?" Heather called.
"Oh, I just got hired! Isn't this neat?" Bucky smiled.
*wide grin* *Ding!*
"...Seriously? You hired not only some random guy off the street, but a contestant's BOYFRIEND to take part in this?" Chris glared at Celestia.
Celestia shrugged. "He wanted pay."
Because we all know Chris will do anything for the pay. *Ding!*
"Well... Bucky is now hired as a Total Drama intern..." Heather paused. "I will admit... I don't quite know how to respond to that."
"Yeah, I don't either." Noah shook his head.
That makes three of us. *Ding!*
"Isn't Bucky from another universe or something?" Izzy asked. "Is that allowed?"
Which one of these 10k universes are you
referring to, Izzy? *Ding!* (And I did not even touch the crossover section. That's another 1k.)
"Why is the plane still circling around?" Bridgette asked... before it then made a quick head dive straight into Bridgette's mansion. Bridgette could only stare in shock and horror as she then fainted on the ground.
At that time, the back doors opened... as all fourteen of the Pahkitew Island contestants fell as they screamed, being piled against each other.
This is still really familiar... can't put my finger on it, though... *Ding!*
"Starting with the winner and runner-up... whichever one that was... here are Shawn and Sky." Celestia said as the two aforementioned people got up and brushed themselves.
Wait, you don't even know who won? No wonder Chris always keeps the prize money. *Ding!*
"Amy and..." Chris started.
"Sammy!" Blaineley smiled.
"No, Same-" Chris started.
"Chris, we refuse to call her Samey!" Luna glared.
So who's gonna be the butt monkey this season, Alvin or Samey? *Ding!*
"Beardo seriously can't be his real name!"
"I know, I know, but nobody knows his real name!"
"We have to call him something, so we'll just call him Beardo." *Ding!*
"And finally..." Celestia started...
"I'm back!" Sugar laughed as she walked over to the others.
Celestia groaned. "...Sugar."
"Hello, Sugar." Ella said in her adorable voice.
Sugar frowned. "Oh great, it's you."
Oh look, it's Blaineley 2.0. *Ding!*
"...You're setting your next season in Equestria again? Really?" Gwen said dryly.
"Hey, it gives us a break from the usual islands and our own planet." Chris said.
It's not like he has a say in the matter, he's a pony after all. *Ding!*
The Wheel of Fortune music started playing as the Total Drama casts, old and new, looked around in confusion as Discord made a wheel of all the old contestants of Total Drama appear.
"Yes, it's 'Wheel of Contestants' as 14 returning players of the first Total Drama Equestria will participate! And now, here's your hosts... intern Bucky B. Katt AND Discord White!"
Bucky and Discord walked out on stage as Bucky smiled, waving as the audience clappers started applauding. Discord, wearing a Vanna White like dress, gave a cheer as he blew a kiss.
Minus one sin for Discord in a dress. *!gniD*
"So... who won Pahkitew Island? Sky or Shawn?" Max asked. "It was really hard to tell..."
Seriously, nobody knows? *slowly walks backwards* Please excuse me... I have something to catch up on... *Ding!*
Amy growled at Bucky, but walked over and spun the wheel... as it landed on...
"Alejandro?" Bucky sweatdropped.
"YES! I can't believe it!" Alejandro cheered. "This is going to be my chance at redemption!"
"Alejandro, nobody, like, likes you." Dawn frowned.
"What? Now that is not true!" Alejandro frowned.
"Well, Alejandro, go join the- OH MY GOD, ALEJANDRO, NOBODY LIKES YOU!" Bucky yelled.
"Oh, come on!" Alejandro frowned as he walked over.
Oh wait, now I remember! *Ding!*
"Samey?" Chris smirked.
"SAMMY!" Everybody (but Alejandro, Amy AND Chris) yelled.
"Who cares?" Chris rolled his eyes as Sammy nervously spun the wheel as it landed on...
This is going to be a theme this season. If you thought the Lightning confusion wasn't enough, now there's more! *Ding!*
"YES!" Bucky smiled as he saw the picture it landed on.
"Bucky, you clearly stuck your foot in that wheel!" Luna glared, pointing to the fact that Bucky's foot had stopped the wheel at that point. "We saw it ourselves!"
"Come on down, Heather, you just joined the ranks!" Bucky smiled.
"Rigging the vote to get your girlfriend in" cliché. *Ding!*
"TUERTO?" Bucky, Celestia, Luna, Chef, Chris and Discord gasped.
"Oh no, another season with this character..." Celestia groaned... then they all started laughing as she continued, "Oh wait a minute, that's right! He's fucking dead!"
Okay, now this is getting too far into the parody. This guy wasn't even a contestant to begin with, he was trying to kill your asses! *Ding!*
"WHAT?" DJ said in a panic. "Can I quit?"
"No." Celestia and Luna frowned as they picked up DJ by their magic and tossed him with the others.
*Ding!*
"I suppose while everyone else is doing the season, we can always chill in my mansion. You okay with this?" Bridgette asked Celestia.
Celestia nodded.
"Great!" Bridgette said as she opened the door... and looked up as she saw the plane.
"Sorry about the mess, we'll clean it up." Celestia said.
By which she means that in episode 33 the challenge will be to clean it up. *Ding!*
"Well... this is it! Twenty-eight contestants, one billion dollars! All in a new season of Total... Drama... EQUESTRIA: New versus Old!"
First MePhone steals Chris's dialogue, now Chris steals MePhone's dialogue. ...not sure who should sue who. *Ding!* Also, roll cre... oh wait, it actually is going to roll the credits. *Ding!*
ORANGE RATCHET PRESENTS...
A JUSSONIC STORY...
Another intro started playing like in every Total Drama season as cameras started popping out everywhere.
Theme. *!gniD*
TOTAL DRAMA EQUESTRIA 2: NEW VERSUS OLD
BASED OFF THE WORKS OF JENNIFER PERTCH, TOM MCGILLIS AND LAUREN FAUST
WRITTEN BY JUSSONIC AND ORANGE RATCHET
How nice of Orange Ratchet to let JusSonic take top credit this time. *Ding!*
"First off, you'll all be happy to know that there is no insane human killing pony to worry about." This causes the teams to cheer wildly at this.
One of them was more than enough. *Ding!*
Celestia nodded as she went up. "Earlier before we started our new season, I gave a lot of books to Twilight. Now, most of these books have locks to them, and she can't unlock them without a key."
"Can't she unlock them with magic?" Gwen asked.
Meanwhile, in another area, Twilight was examining one book with a lock as she tried to unlock it... only to get zapped as she screamed. She fainted.
"No, she can't use magic to unlock the books. Discord made sure of that." Celestia explained.
Chaos-Magic-Ex-Machina. *Ding!*
Heather: I wonder if those books contain clues to where a McLean Invincibility Statue is...
You can tell which of two authors is writing what by whoever spells McLean correctly. *Ding!*
"But the winning team will live like kings and queens...or in this case princes and princesses at the all new Friendship Rainbow Kingdom Castle!" Blaineley explains as Discord made a picture of Twilight's new home, the Friendship Rainbow Kingdom Castle, appear.
Only $19.99! BUY OUR TOYS! *Ding!*
Luna then adds, "And finally, most importantly of them all, my sister and I WON'T be deciding who will go. That will be left up to our new voters..."
"US?" Sugar smiled.
No, the viewers. *Ding!*
"Yes. With Scott not playing this time, we can relax." Dawn said with a sigh. "The only bad guys to worry about is Alejandro, Heather, Amy, Sugar...and Scarlett."
"What about that Max kid?"
"He is no threat."
Yeah, the only one you really need to worry about is Scarlett. *Ding!*
Izzy: I always wanted to meet Fred Flintstone or a parody of him!
You just weren't looking hard enough, Izzy. Heck, the guy even showed up in Springfield once. Wherever that is. *Ding!*
"Long story short: Tirek came back, tried to take over Equestria, blew up the library, blah, blah, blah." Rainbow remarks with a shrug to the group.
Tirek came back, he was a different Tirek, JusSonic had to do some serious band-aiding, yadda yadda. *Ding!*
"This mirror is the same one I used to go to the world where my friends and everyone else I know are humans." Twilight explains the mirror with a smile. "And where Sunset Shimmer now lives. I can now able to make it so I can visit at any time. We've just got word of the Friendship Games being played."
"Any chance we will take a look?" Sammy ask Twilight curiously.
You're going to have to wait until Twilight gets stuck in a time loop first. *Ding!*
"Of course, there were the problems like certain authors trying to take over the fucking story when one author already had a goddamn idea on how to take care of things... but that's all in the past. One author writing this one totally has creative freedom on that now unless he decides to ask for whatever reason." Luna smiled.
That explains why Toonwriter isn't working on the sequel. *Ding!*
Ella sighed. "When I was three years old... I lost my mom."
Sammy gasped in horror.
Ella looked down. "Someone shot her in the head."
Ohhhhh, Ella, you should have told! I would have gotten you a great lawyer! Trust me, he'd find out who shot your mother no matter what! *Ding!*
Meanwhile, with Dawn, she was doing some meditating as Pinkamena came out. Dawn opened an eye as she said, "I had a feeling you'd come here."
"I'm glad to be back..." Pinkamena smiled as she and Dawn hugged it out...
Pinkamena then growled at Dawn as she yelled, "YOU STOLE MY FUCKING STUFF, YOU FUCKING BITCH!"
Talk about a mood whiplash. *Ding!*
"You heard of what happened with...whoever your twin is, did you?" Dawn ask Pinkie curiously.
"Yep. Oh, for the record, she is from another universe. She looks creepy but is nice. She gives the shivers, but only to her enemies and for fun. She's also good with knives and jumping out to scare folks." Pinkie said to Dawn happily.
"AHHHHHH!!!!" Sugar screams as she runs off with Pinkamena popping up.
"Awww, come on! I want to be friends with you!" Pinkamena laughs madly as she chases her.
"Like so!" Pinkie exclaims with a happy grin.
Well that explains it then. I thought for sure she was a split personality of yours. *Ding!*
"MAIL CALL!" Derpy yelled as she crashed where everybody was gathered around.
We interrupt Total Drama Equestria 2 to bring you Paper Mario. *Ding!*
"Should we wait for you guys, or can we come with?" Twilight asked.
"You might as well 'escort' us. I'm sure Chris will be delighted to meet you again, and I don't know where Chef is, but maybe he's here." B explained. "Oh yeah, Blaineley's here too."
The Mane Six's eyes widened as they yelled, "PREPARE THE ARMOR!"
They quickly ran inside as hammering and clanging was heard. After a few minutes, Twilight and the others walked out, wearing suits of armor as Twilight said, "Ready!"
Emergency armour that we always had and were saving for just such an occasion, activate! *Ding!*
Phobos snaps as he walks off and pulls at Chris's face in hope to reveal the robot. "Argh! Why won't this fake skin come off?!"
"Ouch! Hey, stop it! Get off! That's my face, dude! STOP IT!"
"Not a fake this time" cliché. *Ding!*
"Holy horse feathers!" Nyx exclaims as she grabs Phobos by the tail, pulling him off of Chris.
Nyx, everyone else is swearing like a sailor. You can too. *Ding!*
"Well, Chris's challenge... Wait, is it Chris's or Chris'? I could never tell." Celestia said, blinking her eyes a bit.
"Chris's or Chris'." Luna said to her sister with a shrug.
Celestia blinks as she ask, "Well, which one is it?"
"They're both correct. Though if you want to make it plural possessive, you'd probably stick with Chris'."
"I think I prefer Chris's."
"Go with whatever you want. I'm sure someone will still use 'Chris''." Luna said, rolling her eyes a bit.
Internet arguments in a nutshell. *Ding!*
"The first team to make it to the finish line wins invincibility as well as temporarily stay in the Friendship Rainbow Kingdom castle." Luna explains.
"Wait, was I told that?" Twilight ask, blinking in confusion.
"It was a surprise. Also, they will be getting a key that will fit one of the books that the Princess of Friendship has gotten."
"Again, what?"
Trollestia strikes again. *Ding!*
Twilight blinked as the Mane Six turned to see Bucky sitting next to them. "Hey... aren't you Heather's boyfriend?"
"Yes and yes." Bucky said as he slurped from a cup. "I'm working as an intern for pay..."
"Wait... for Chris or for Celestia?" Twilight asked.
"Yes." Bucky just said as he kept drinking his drink.
"Dodging the question with a non-answer" cliché. *Ding!*
"Oh, waitresses, I'd like to have another tuna shake!" Bucky called as he just finished up his drink.
"We're not your maids." Celestia frowned.
"But Discord is!" Luna said, smirking, as Discord, in a maid's costume, came in, disgruntled, holding another tuna shake.
Snarky Luna is best Luna. *!gniD* Also, minus one sin for Discord in a maid outfit. *!gniD*
"Why the hell am I with you again?!" Scarlett scowls angrily as she finds herself in a part of the maze... and with Max of all people!
"I am not happy about this either, former sidekick." Max said to Scarlett with a frown. "You turned against your master and...
Scarlett grabs Max by the collar, snarling, "I am not, and never was, YOUR SIDEKICK!" She loses the glasses and made her hair loose just like because, causing Max to yelp. "And if you want to live to even see the next episode, YOU BETTER SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH AND STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY!!!!"
*Ding!* Also, missing end quote. *Ding!*
"Never mind that, mates! Sheep coming!" Jasmine exclaims, pointing at sheep in the area.
"So what? What stupid sheep going to do?"
The sheep heard that as they open their eyes, glaring darkly at the three.
I did not want to be reminded of that episode. *Ding!*
Shawn: (shaking) Clowns...zombies...not a good combo...no, no, no...
Aren't you the zombie expert? *Ding!*
"Awww, be nice to Chris." Ella said to Topher sweetly. "He was worried you would take his job."
"I was, Ella, I was."
Topher would be great at Cinema Sins. *Ding!*
"Here they come..." Celestia said. "Looks like it's getting close now..."
All of a sudden, two ramps came up as everyone's eyes widened. Celestia then muttered, "What the fuck?"
Discord chuckled nervously. "Did I forget to mention that there was one last trick?"
It wouldn't be Discord otherwise. *Ding!*
"YAH!" Applejack yelled in pain as she felt her bones break. "I think they broke my bones..."
"We'll... get you to the hospital..." Twilight sighed as she lifted Applejack by magic.
"Hey! I got injured too!" Chef called.
"Yeah, but who cares about you?" Twilight said as she put Applejack in a stretcher.
What did Chef do to be this season's butt monkey? *Ding!*
Sky smiled as she looked up at the TV. "Here, let me switch it on to something for you so you can enjoy some quality programming."
Sky then flipped through the channels... then smiled as she stopped on something. "Oh! Monster Rancher! That was one of my favorite programs! Enjoy!"
Applejack's eyes widened as she muffled protests, but Sky didn't listen.
Somehow human programming finds its way into Equestria. *Ding!* Also, televisions exist in Equestria because it's convenient for the plot. *Ding!*
Okay, not a sin, just a question: is this really that bad? I'm open to watching some new anime.
"Ha!" Max exclaims as Chris tosses him the cupcake. "Evil has won today, foolish girl! BWA HA HA HA HA!"
"SHUT UP!" Most of everyone, especially Chris and Scarlett, snaps at Max in annoyance.
Scott was a better villain than you last season. *Ding!*
Inside a building, we see a mysterious figure looking into a small portal-like crystal ball to see Chris talking with Celesta and Luna as the figure chuckled.
"All is going accordingly..." The person said, chuckling to himself evilly.
Remember this guy? The one who turned Chris into a pony? Yeah, I knew you didn't. *Ding!*